farg Dallas! Thread

[PhillyPhreak54]

From the Cowboys MB

Apparently one of their board members went to TO's camp. And the guy writing this is from Killeen, my old stomping grounds. drunkmasterflex is down there now, perhaps we should have him go beat this guys ass and throw a battery at his head.

Dude, that was some good stuff. I'll repost Tanin's firsthand account:

"When T.O. was running the drill with us, he spotted a kid with a Philly Eagle hat and with an irritated look on his face said-"Man, why you wearin' that out here?!" he then yanked the hat off his head and crumpled it up, throwing it on the field. But he did give the kid a new hat, the T.O. camp hat. After he was finished with us and wanted to move on into the little kid group, he kicked the eagle hat and said-"Kick that hat off the field!" I have to say it was pretty funny when he did that."

Good stuff. Something else I saw that the articles I read didn't mention: When TO was throwing passes to the younger kids, the kid he chastised by saying "I bet if that was a pizza you would have caught it!" was a pudgy kid who was in tears after Owens said that to him. Right after the comment Rosenhaus, fanny kisser that he is, said "Ha Ha! Good one, buddy!" What a dink.

TO making fun of a fat kid and Rosenhaus kissing his ass afterwards?

[PhillyPhreak54]

And the Dallas media said he playfully chided a youngster.

[PhillyPhanInDC]

When TO was throwing passes to the younger kids, the kid he chastised by saying "I bet if that was a pizza you would have caught it!" was a pudgy kid who was in tears after Owens said that to him. Right after the comment Rosenhaus, fanny kisser that he is, said "Ha Ha! Good one, buddy!"

If someone were to ask me why I hate both Owens and Rosenhaus the way that I do, I would show them this little clip. The nerve of the fargers is simply baffling.

[MDS]

What a farging icehole.

[Feva]

Kinda weak... but, what the hell...

Terrell Owens' Exciting Morning

It's a bright, early morning at Dallas Cowboys' mini-camp. The players are going through stretches and most of the coaches are setting up drills. Bill Parcels is approached by a U.P.S. delivery man about a large package for one of his players back at the locker room. He was informed that it was for Terrell Owens. Ordinarily, in a situation like this, he would tell the player about the package after morning practice, but this was T.O. He knows he must pick his battles. Bill tells Owens about the package and Terrell leaves for the locker room. Bill wipes the sweat from his brow, eats six hamburgers, gives his stuffed Terrell Owens plush doll a big, huge hug, and enjoys the comfort of a dodged bullet.

Owens arrives at the locker room to find a gigantic, cardboard box. A large note is hanging on the front of it. Owens reaches and tears it from the box. As he unfolds it, his imagination goes apeshtein. He holds the paper to his face. It reads...

Dear Terrell,

How the hell have you been old buddy? I was playing as you on Madden the other day, and holy farging hell, you are unreal. You treat triple coverage like a three-dollar whore. I got like 14 Madden Cards because of you! Anyways, I've been thinking a whole lot about you, champ, and I want to put our differences behind us. As a token of my appreciation for our friendship, I decided to grant you with a gift as an offering of peace. Terrell, my brother, you are the bomb.

That is why I knew that I had to see you ride a vehicle that matches your ferocity. An All-Pro, like yourself, doesn't need 4 wheels to drive and get around. You are better than everyone else... you only need 2 wheels to be mobile. Boy, oh boy, I bet you're going to love this surprise! Take a deep breath. Here we go. Inside the box, you will find a brand new Suzuki GSX 1300 R motorcycle. It tops out at 194 miles an hour. I think some dude jumped Niagara Falls on one once. Cool, huh? It is like the Terrell Owens of the motorcycle world. No one can match it. It is only fitting that the two of you should be united.

You are probably noticing that amongst all this awesomeness, something is missing. Did I leave something out of the gift? I have yet to mention a matching helmet, right? That is because helmets are for dork-ass nerd-dick Hoydas. You want people to know that you are Terrell Owens when you go buzzing by them at speeds that peel your face to the back of your head. Nobody else on the highway dresses up like Star Wars characters. Why do have to be rolling as Darth Vader? farg helmets.You are way too cool for them. Now, go ahead and hop on, give it a whirl. I sent your boss Bill 15 bags of pork rinds and a keg of Pabst. He'll forget all about you missing practice this morning. We both know that Jerry Jones won't give a farg. Go for a ride. A warp-speed zoom around the neighborhood on that machine will surely loosen you up for afternoon practice.

I hope that we are cool now. I want to put our differences behind us. Enjoy the bike, Terrell. I heard that Randy Moss can pop wheelies on his and Chad Johnson is able to do multiple tricks from Excitebike with ramps and what not. You're the best!

Your Buddy,
Andy Reid

P.S. Let me know if you need any help finding a good ramp guy.

[Tomahawk]

A Dallas native, and reprehensibly Cowboy fan, told me that the Dallas media and/or fans are all sorts of upset for TO wearing a Heat jersey to the Mavs game which makes me hold out hope that they will follow the next progressively logical step and throw napalm on him.

[PhillyPhreak54]

The book comes out next week. The Philadelphia media already has their hands on it. Comcast and CBS3 had excerpts of it.

TO described the Pittsburgh sideline thing as him trying to be positive towards Donovan on the orders of "an offensive coach" who told him Donovan can get tight and nervous in big games. He said that he was told this prior to the game because it was a "big game".

He also says that Reid called him during the arbitration meetings to see if him and Donovan could work it out. He said they could and then an hour later Reid called back and said he was done. He said that it seemed as if Reid talked to someone who made him choose between Donovan and TO.

And he confirms Donovan's side of things re: the end of the good relationship being that game against the NYG. Except to says he told Donovan he was open in a "friendly way" and he went to talk to him man to man afterwards and Donovan was confrontational. He said Donovan was jealous that he was becoming the favorite son of Philadelphia. he also said Donovan ignored him and Coach Reid's plans and purposely chose to check down to Westbrook.

This is going to be a circus. You know damn well the McNabb haters will jump on this. And you know the same people (Cataldi and co.) will rip Donny even though they had been ripping TO as being a nutjob just because TO's agenda fits his - to rip the QB.

[Wingspan]

Brett Myers has already sent him a thank you card and a box of chocolates.

[PhillyGirl]

Holy crap, the excerpts from the book make him sound even MORE like a whiny little bitch ass.


"wahhhhhh, Donovan didn't throw me the ball!"

"Waaaaaaahhhh, Hugh said mean things to me!"

"Wahhhhhh, Donovan wasn't the same Donovan that was my friend!"

Is it possible that my opinion of him has sunk even lower?

[ice grillin you]

hes not saying anything people dont already know...donovan is bitchmade and TO is one of the horrible human beings on the planet...welcome to 2003

of course phreak is right tho...this will not do a single thing to stop this from being a media circus for the better part of the next two months

[PhillyPhreak54]

My only hope is that it becomes as big of a circus in Cowboys camp as it does here.

This type of situation is tailor made for the Eagles press conferences. Reid will not indulge it and Donovan will be cliche and want to move on.

But how will TO react? And how will Parcells react after getting a ton of questions about it?

Get yo popcorn ready.

[shorebird]

The book comes out next week. The Philadelphia media already has their hands on it. Comcast and CBS3 had excerpts of it.

I don't believe any of that crap. It's all from TO's veiwpoint anyway. That book won't be fit for me to wipe my ass on.

[PhillyPhreak54]

Monday afternoon marked the first revelation of a chink in the Terrell Owens' armor.

Following a largely bit of unsuccessful 7-on-7 work, offensive assistant Todd Haley summoned his players over to another side of the field. Owens, however, did not join the group, choosing, apparently, to register his disgust by taking a knee alongside the defensive players.

And after practice, T.O. remains on the field for a looong time, first engaging in an animated conversation with Haley, and then meeting with Parcells to voice some additional opinions. No predictions of a coming disaster here; just
a chink in the armor, that's all.

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

Ah, yes.  This is how it begins.

[Rome]

I hope and pray that there is a video camera trained on Parcells & Owens when the inevitable shteinstorm finally commences.