2007 NFL Predictions

[MDS]

It's 2:30 and I'm kinda drunk and quite tired so I'ma drop some knowledge on you lower middle class white people.

NFC East
1. Eagles
2. Cowboys
3. Giants
4. taterskins

Shocking. The Eagles don't really impress me, but the rest of the teams eat ass. Is anyone concerned with Tony Romo? Eli Manning? Brandon Jacobs? That collection of 5 retards the Giants call an offensive line? Gaptooth coming to the team a week before the season just so he can collect his last round of paychecks? And the taterskins...where the hell to begin with that abortion. Billy Sampy holla.

NFC North
1. Bears
2. Vikings
3. Lions
4. Packers

Another zesty division. Rex Grossman is horrible. Everyone on the Bears hates Cedric Benson. Sure the defense is money and Devin Hester is out of his mind, but they don't scare me. On top of that, Minnesota is starting Tarvarias Jackson and were so desperate for Kelly Holcumb that they traded for him even though is was a lock that he'd be cut this weekend. The Lions might score a lot of points, but they're still the Lions, and that defense is bad. And speaking of bad, let's talk about Brett Favre. He sucks. Retire already, please.

NFC South
1. Saints
2. Bucs
3. Panthers
4. Falcons

Katrina, Katrina, bwahaha poor New Orleans. Everyone root for them. No farg that, they suck. But they're good enough to win this piece of crap division. Yay for Reggie Bush's super talents. Garthia will lead the Bucs to an average record, mostly because both the Panthers and Falcons will totally fall apart this year. Jake Delhomo is 2 interceptions away from a mental breakdown, and David Carr's complete lack of talent is waiting in the wings to lose more games. Meanwhile, Ron Mexico's little dog farm set the Falcons back 3 years, as they'll tank the last half of the year and get Brian Brohm next April.

NFC West
1. Seahawks
2. 49ers
3. Cardinals
4. Rams

I don't know, none of these teams jump out at me. The Niners are the "sexy" pick to make the leap from under .500 to the playoffs, so that essentially means they won't do it, but since the conference as a whole sucks, they can sneak in. The Cardinals could also do it, but everyone has been saying that for 10 years and they always suck. So no. The Rams also suck, but might be mediocre enough to fall ass backwards into a top finish. So the safe bet is Seattle, they're real tough to beat at home and I sort of like them after what they did to the Cowboys in January.

Playoffs
1. Eagles
2. Bears
3. Saints
4. Seahawks
5. Bucs
6. Niners

Saints beat Niners
Seahawks beat Bucs

Eagles beat Seahawks
Saints beat Bears

Eagles beat Saints

AFC East
1. Patriots
2. Jets
3. Bills
4. Dolphins

Roid Head Rodney Harrison's suspension aside, the Pats should easily win this division. I mean, simply look at the QB's: Tom Brady, Chad Pennington, J.P. Losman and Trent Green. Who the farg do you think is gonna come outta there on top? Yea, the dude who bangs Bridget Monayhan and Gisele Bunchen. God damnit I hate him. But if Thomas Jones is healthy the Jets should be better, Lee Evans needs to produce fantasy wise and I give 2 shteins less what Buffalo does, and Miami is a farging joke.

AFC North
1. Bengals
2. Ravens
3. Steelers
4. Browns

Sure everyone gets arrested, sure they have no defense, but out of the 3 good teams in this division, this is the only team that I can stand. So they win by default. The Ravens still have a nasty defense and the addition of Willis McGhee puts them over the top, and the Steelers look like they're back to the solid 10-6, 9-7 teams of the past. The Browns are shtein out of luck, a young team trying to rebuild (or build) in a stacked division. Oh well, who cares.

AFC South
1. Colts
2. Titans
3. Texans
4. Jaguars

I have Joe Addai and Marvin Harrison in my money league, so I have to become a Colts fan. So go them. Also Vince Young, if healthy, will win many games because that's what he does. I don't know how, but he does. Houston will finally get out of the cellar and look halfway decent, while the Jags will crumble and their 35 fans in that disgustingly dirty hick town of Jacksonville will all get out their NASCAR porn and start wacking off to pictures of Dale Earnhardt's moustache.

AFC West
1. Chargers
2. Broncos
3. Chiefs
4. Raiders

Everyone is predicting San Diego to win. Obviously, they're the best team in this division. And maybe good enough to win the whole thing, but without Jake Plummer is beat on twice a year, I don't know...it's tough. What is a guarantee is the Broncos will pick running backs out of Mike Shannahan's asscrack that can rush behind that line, Damon Huard will prove to be...Damon Huard, and the Raiders will once again be the laughing stock of pro football.

Playoffs
1. Colts
2. Patriots
3. Chargers
4. Bengals
5. Ravens
6. Titans

Chargers beat Titans
Ravens beat Bengals

Colts beat Ravens
Chargers beat Patriots

Colts beat Chargers

Superbowl- Eagles beat Colts

Why not, I do it every year. Go Phillies.

[Geowhizzer]

I'll go this far:

NFC Division Winners:
East:  Dallas 
North:  Chicago
South:  New Orleans
West:  San Francisco
Wild Card:  St. Louis, Panthers

Eagles' Record:  8-8 (just too many questions)

NFC Champion:  New Orleans


AFC Division Winners:
East:  New England
North:  Baltimore
South:  Indianapolis
West:  San Diego
Wild Card:  Pittsburgh, Jacksonville

AFC Champion:  New England

Super Bowl Champion:  New England

[Rome]

You think the Panthers & Rams will make the playoffs before the Eagles do?

Okay.   

Anywho...

NFC:

East:  Eagles
North: Bears
South: Saints
West: Seahawks
Wildcards: Dallas & Niners

NFC Champion: Seahawks


AFC:

East: Patriots
North: Ravens
South: funholes
West: Broncos
Wild Cards: Jaguars & Chargers

AFC Champion: Chargers


Super Bowl Champion: Chargers.

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

NFC:

East:  Cowboys
North:  Vikings
South:  Panthers
West:  Seahawks
Wildcards:  Eagles & 49ers

NFC Champion:  Panthers

AFC:

East:  Patriots
North:  Steelers
South:  Colts
West:  Chiefs
Wildcards:  Broncos & Jets

AFC Champion:  Steelers

Super Bowl Champion:  Panthers


I tried to pick a scenario that is unlikely, but would anger me greatly.

[Rome]

The only way the Chargers don't make the playoffs is if Rivers, Merriman, L.T. & Gates all get caught in a dog fighting scandal.

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

The only way the Chargers don't make the playoffs is if Rivers, Merriman, L.T. & Gates all get caught in a dog fighting scandal.

Merriman will get caught using roids again.  L.T. will get hit by a car while on a date with a tranny a la Eddie Murphy/Marv Albert.  Gates and Rivers will prove useless without L.T.

Oh, and don't forget... their head coach is NORV TURNER.

[Geowhizzer]

You think the Panthers & Rams will make the playoffs before the Eagles do?

And all I've seen from most is how bad the defense is, the WR are, and the chances of Donovan McNabb being hurt by game 5.

I have no reason to be overly optimistic.

I could have pulled an Igy and put the taterskins in the playoffs, but I feel dirty enough having Dallas winning the division.

[Munson]

The only way the Chargers don't make the playoffs is if Rivers, Merriman, L.T. & Gates all get caught in a dog fighting scandal.

Merriman will get caught using roids again.  L.T. will get hit by a car while on a date with a tranny a la Eddie Murphy/Marv Albert.  Gates and Rivers will prove useless without L.T.

Oh, and don't forget... their head coach is NORV TURNER.

In LT vs. Car, LT wins.

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

Ok, I'll be honest.  I took so little time putting my list together that I forgot about the Chargers.

I'm going to stick to my prediction, though.

[PhillyPhreak54]

NFC East
1. Eagles
2. Cowboys
3. taterskins
4. Giants

Eagles win by default and because they have McNabb and Westbrook. Dallas has Wade Phillips. Who cares about the other two?

NFC Northl
1. Bears
2. Packers
3. Vikings
4. Lions

I think the Packers surprise some this year. They might even with the division because Chicago is much worse than last year and they still have Rex.

NFC South
1. Saints
2. Bucs
3. Panthers
4. Falcons

Last year i was rooting for NO because of the hurricane shtein. But after they whupped the Birds twice and that dirty snatch wore that F*** The Eagles shirt on TV - I hope the suck. But they win the division. The Bucs will be decent; I thik Cadillac rebounds well and my boy Trot is the defensive MVP there. Blow me.

NFC West
1. 49ers
2. Seahawks
3. Cardinals
4. Rams

Any of these teams could win it. The only way SF doesn't is if Alex Smith shteins the bed.

AFC East
1. Patriots
2. Jets
3. Dolphins
4. Bills

Pats are the best and have everyone riding the pole for them to win it all. Whatever. I just hope Moss tears it up because I have him in my $$ FFL.

AFC North
1. Ravens
2. Bengals
3. Steelers
4. Browns

Baltimore's defense and McGahee allow them to win this. I'd like to see Cincy pull it off though. And I'm rooting for Omar Epps to succeed in his transition from HOllywood to the NFL coach in PIT.

AFC South
1. Colts
2. Titans
3. Jaguars
4. Texans

I hate Peyton Manning.

AFC West
1. San Diego
2. Denver
3. Kansas City
4. Oakland

Norv Turner is the coach, but tey still have a tight ass defense. They'll blow it in the playoffs though. I like Herm Edwards and wish KC was better.

NFC Playoffs
1. Eagles
2. Saints
3. 49ers
4. Bears
5. Cowboys
6. Seahawks

49ers beat Seahawks
Cowboys beat Bears

Eagles beat Seahawks
Saints beat Cowboys

Eagles beat Saints

AFC Playoffs
1. Patriots
2. Colts
3. Ravens
4. Chargers
5. Broncos
6. Bengals

Ravens beat Bengals
Broncos beat Chargers

Broncos beat Patriots
Ravens beat Colts

Ravens beat Broncos

SUPERBOWL

Eagles beat Ravens

HOMER! WHAT?!

[MDS]

Billicks balls must taste better than Trotters, no?

[The BIGSTUD]

NFC Division Winners:
East:  Eagles
North:  Bears
South:  Saints
West:  Seahawks
Wild Card:  Rams, Panthers

Eagles' Record:  11-5

NFC Champion:  Eagles


AFC Division Winners:
East:  Jets
North: Ravens
South:  Colts
West:  Chargers
Wild Card: Bengals, Broncos

AFC Champion:  Chargers

Super Bowl Champion:  Eagles(best in the ligg, ya digg)

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

Note that I'm the only one in this thread that wasn't suckling at the Saints.

[Feva]

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

Thanks.  It was delicious.