Joke Time

Started by Father Demon, March 24, 2006, 05:41:07 PM

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Father Demon

The Pope and the Queen of England are addressing a joint Anglican/Catholic commemoration of the Anglo-Irish accords. The crowd is huge. Her Majesty and His Holiness cannot help but feel a little rivalry - both being heads of states and churches and all.

The Queen said to the Pope, "Did you know that, with just one little wave of my hand, I can make every English person in the crowd go wild?"

The Pope looked doubtful, so she showed him. Sure enough, the royal-gloved wave elicited rapture and cheering from every English man, woman and child in the crowd. Gradually, the cheering subsided.

The Pope, not wanting to be outdone by someone wearing a worse frock and hat than he, considered thoughtfully and then said to the Queen, "Your majesty, that was impressive. But did you know that, with one wave of MY hand, I can make every Irish person in the crowd go crazy with joy? Their joy will be a momentary display like that of your subjects, but will go deep into their hearts, and they will speak forever of this day to their grandchildren and they to their descendants."

The Queen seriously doubted this, and said so, "One little wave of your hand and all Irish people will rejoice forever? Show me."

So, the Pope slapped her.
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Phanatic

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army.

On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.

On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.

On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.
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stalker

Why do police dogs lick their iceholes?
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